celebrities

A possible glimpse into Uma Therman’s future 30 years from now.

While recently spending over $35 million on his new pad, having risen to 2nd in command in the Church of Scientology and splurging on another addition to his fighter squadron, Tom Cruise is living the life of many of his classic characters. The following speculates on how he may be implementing the skills of his secret agent roles in the real world.

It’s no secret that the media pushes unrealistic and unhealthy ideals on women’s bodies. With critics declaring Britney as being too fat to Keira being too thin, you would think that someone such as Jennifer Love Hewitt would be cast as a happy and healthy median.

Unfortunately, most are still in the dark regarding the truth behind the images you see in magazines, on billboards and even on television.
This secret, hidden in plain sight, is an illusion that people must see past in order to understand that these images are portrayals of extreme ideals and rarely reflect reality.

Perez Hilton has come a long way from his humble yet loud celebrity blogging beginnings. While reportedly pulling in over a kazillion dollars a day by writing snide remarks about the stars, his crude doodle overlays on photos representing penises and ejaculate were beyond us, until we realized how fun it really can be. Here’s an exclusive shot we got of Perez ‘coming out’ of his shell.

We’re very excited to have booked a Destination Creation ‘field trip’ to fabulous Las Vegas. We were even more excited to have gotten seats for David Copperfield’s show, when we heard he was arrested for being involved in a creepy and bizarre conspiracy.

We knew it wasn’t his creative integration of Enigma and Genesis classics into his show that allowed him to mesmerize all the girls. But our theory crediting his beautiful, thick, flowing eyebrows was proven wrong when the studio was called on to touch up proofs for his new advertising campaign.

Thanks to your feedback, we are more than happy to present you with our first celebrity head, freshly skewered on a spike. While some of your suggestions were compelling, we didn’t want the hassles of the potential ‘implications’ that could have been caused by Bush and we just didn’t understand the Matt Damon request.

This depiction of Paris Hilton’s head on a spike should serve as a perfect, satisfying outlet for all.